I had a conversation that pushed me to dream bigger
Last week, I met with a new coach, hoping to gain some momentum in my new business.
The conversation shook me to my core.
At one point, she asked me, “If we met one year later for coffee, what would you like to be able to say that you accomplished over the past year?”
I hesitated.
As much as I spend time helping others design their career visions I had only a vague idea of my own.
I told her how I dreamed of maybe making coaching a sustainable business, potentially turning my home into a community hub for my friends, possibly even writing a book (if we really wanted to get crazy).
“You could do all that in 4 months. What else?”
I was taken aback. These were things that I was already hesitant to aim for. Dream… bigger?
I grew up being told that I was an idealist, that I did not pay enough attention to the constraints of reality. So to keep myself from being disappointed, I purposely kept my dreams either small or vague.
In the rest of that session, my coach continued to push my future vision. What if I didn’t just coach people who I inspired, but people who inspired me? I had already started social gatherings at my house — what was it I was actually looking for?
Getting more specific, saying my dreams out loud — it was scary. I wanted to be able to coach out of pure desire to serve others, but I was afraid I wouldn’t make enough money. I was scared to trust my gut. Because if I fell short, it would mean that I was wrong, that I was too idealistic, that I couldn’t trust myself.
That’s when my coach said — is it ideals you’re trying to live by? Or is it your values?
Values… hmm.. was it so wrong to try to live a life that was true to my values?
I came out of that call feeling shellshocked because for the first time, someone was questioning my inner narrative and shaking up my perceptions of what I could achieve.
After that conversation, things started shifting. I started playing bigger.
I asked a coaching friend I admire if we could coach each other and learn from each other’s styles so I could get better.
I asked a writer that I look up to if we could do a peer feedback session on our work.
I reached out to another acquaintance to talk about how to build local community hubs so I could build my own.
Each time, I was nervous and unsure of how I would be received. Yet each time, I was glad I asked. Because regardless of the response, I got information that I could use to move forward with my dreams.
It makes me wonder, how often are we holding ourselves back just because we are uncomfortable with saying our dreams out loud or sharing them with others?
A few recs this week
🙅🏻♀️ I know I normally try to have a book rec, but this week, I decided to try reading deprivation (aka not reading lol). This concept comes up in week 4 of The Artist’s Way. The author shares how a lot of times we read as a way to distract ourselves from our deeper thoughts. So what would happen if we went on a reading cleanse and observed the thoughts that filled the empty space instead? It was fascinating to see for myself what happened when I didn’t fill my brain with more noise (though to be quite honest, I’ve only been able to do this for 2 days so far). Curious to try it again and see what other thoughts come up.
💥 Help I’m reading Jujutsu Kaisen and I can’t stop. Manga is truly what iPads were made for.
💬 This quote comes from fellow coach, Anthony Le:
What you are avoiding is where the magic is ✨
This feels very relevant to the dreams we don’t let ourselves say out loud :P