Community Building Experiment #1: Captaining a Team for San Francisco Winter League
The first of many practical community building projects
The best way to learn about anything is by doing. After 3 months of reading about community building and talking to community leaders, I felt like I had a solid conceptual understanding of how to create a successful community, but I had no clue how to apply it in practice. It was time to stop observing and start participating. Which brings me to share the first of many community building experiments: running a team for San Francisco Winter League.
I never thought there’d be a day that I would voluntarily captain a team for San Francisco’s Ultimate Frisbee Winter League. SFWL is not your average recreational league. It is comprised of some of the best ultimate frisbee players across the Bay who are put onto teams via a draft. My very first league game was terrifying. Everyone seemed to know everybody. I didn’t know anyone. And compared to them, it was like I didn’t even know how to play the game.
Yet each year, despite the dread I’d feel before going to each freezing cold, late-night game, I’d still sign up.
My league experience was always heavily shaped by the captains. My first year, the captains talked strategy for the entirety of every timeout and halftime, determined to win each game. The next year, the captains chose all their friends - and it felt like the rest of us were there just to fill up spots. The year after, the captains united our team through conversation about nerdy things, and they ended our season with paper plate awards and lasagna night. Each year, it was a total toss up — you never knew what you were going to get.
Coming into 2022, I clicked the winter league registration form, ready to sign up and resign myself yet again to whatever team experience I would get. But this time when I got to the question asking for volunteer captains, I hesitated. What if I didn’t I resign myself to a random team experience? I quickly shook off the idea - they probably had enough willing captains anyways. But I checked “Maybe” just for fun and didn’t think any more of it.
That split-second decision changed everything. A few weeks later, I received a call and was given 30 minutes to decide if I wanted to step up and captain a team. In those 30 minutes, I felt a mix of nerves but also intrigue. This could be the community building experiment I was looking for. If I were captain, I could use my learnings to create something. I could make winter league.. fun.
I decided I was up for a challenge. I’d take on this new role.
That First Game
I was feeling optimistic and ready. In the weeks prior, I had already shared my team vision with my co-captain, drafted a team filled with people known for their cheers and team buy-in, and thought about what icebreakers we would play.
I thought the first game would look like this:
It actually ended up looking more like this:
The pit of frustration
Okay, I told myself. This is probably normal. People just need time to warm up and get comfortable!
But Game 2 it happened again. And then again. Not only were we not connecting, but each week we were losing. After Game 3, I created a GroupMe for us, convinced this might bring people together. But the group was silent.
And then covid surged and we didn’t see other for 4 weeks. Games were canceled. We didn’t know if the league would continue. When we were allowed to meet, people became reluctant to commit to games. My co-captain kept having conflicts and stopped showing up. Each week, I’d scramble to find players to pick up for our ragtag team. Each week, I’d lead the team on my own and we’d try to find even a smidgen of on-field chemistry. And each week, we’d keep losing.
A spark of light
But something changed after Game 6. We lost yet again, but because we still had time, the other team asked if we’d like to play a mini game just for fun - first to 3 would win.
For some reason, this time, we felt different. This was a challenge we could tackle. And with a clean slate and increased resolve, we won!
The win was entirely inconsequential. I’m sure the other team promptly forgot about it after that day, but for us, it changed everything. We had overcome our first challenge together. And that spark was enough.
Now I probably can’t attribute everything to that little win. It also helped that Covid was settling down and we no longer had to wear masks on the field. High fiving teammates became okay again. And with more time, we were naturally getting more comfortable both on and off the field.
It’s honestly amazing to see where a group of people can go when they start feeling at home. A more seasoned teammate started helping me out and would step in to talk strategy and bring hype when I didn’t know how. A few others took it upon themselves to create game plans on the field. People started telling each other what they wanted to throw on the field. Some got really into asking the most personality revealing questions during our half-time hot seat games. And we all started leaning into our corny cheers about taste buds and burgers (our assigned team name was Grimace and the Big Macs. In case you’re wondering, Grimace is a taste bud!!) We were finally creating the team I had wanted from the start - a team that could have fun.
The big tournament
Every year, SF winter league ends with a 2 day tournament with 3 games each day. With a regular season record of 2 wins and 9 losses, we were seeded second to last. But it didn’t matter - we were ready to bring some underdog energy and have some fun.
My co-captain arrived with apology donuts for missing almost the whole season. Someone else brought team glitter and a flashy purple cape. Another brought homemade Pimm’s Cup for us to enjoy between points. And I arrived with burger tattoos, a burger headband to be worn by whoever scored, and Krabby Patty gummies for spirit prizes.
With our sugar and decked out team gear, we were ready. And boy did we play some ultimate. That day, we connected like we never had before - both on and off field. And by some miracle, we came out of day 1 having made it to the championship bracket.
Now this isn’t the perfect underdog story. We didn’t sweep the entire tournament. I can’t even remember if we made it to the semi finals. But what I do remember is that by the end of that weekend, we felt joy and appreciation for each other and the experiences we got to share.
When I look back at the start of the league season, it’s kind of funny how idealistic I was about building this team. I thought that with the right icebreakers, people, and vision, I could bypass time and speed up our connections. But in the end, it didn’t matter how friendly people were or how great my plan was. Bringing people together still took time. People needed opportunities to commiserate over the freezing cold, buy into weird cheers, uncover quirky facts about each other, and share in both challenges and triumphs. Only then did people open up, trust each other, and contribute.
Real life community building takes time. And hopefully in the future, I will remember to be patient.