scribbles: november musings

a smattering of life thoughts post-vacation and alllll the recs

life lately

Since starting my business, I’ve often found it hard to step away and give myself space to rest. Which is precisely why this year, I decided to take a one month long vacation and not bring any of my work.

For the past 30 days, I visited family in China (for the first time in 8 years!), traveled solo in Japan, and spent time with my parents in Boston. It was amidst these new experiences that I found the space to see my life from a 1000 point view.

And what I noticed was so much personal growth.

I have a really hard time shining the spotlight on myself, but I’m trying to get over it (because only by acknowledging your wins can you grow more confident in yourself!!) Sooo I’d like to share some of my wins with you today.

Five wins: a vacation reflection

• Justin and I have gotten really good at fighting. Traveling used to be the perfect recipe for bickering, but this time was unexpectedly different. We were so much better at resolving issues, recognizing our own emotional ups and downs, and even regularly saw our arguments turn into heartfelt conversations around personal growth. I couldn’t be prouder of us.

• I had a very real conversation with my dad about how we communicate. What started as an argument ended in a really open conversation around our feelings, how we communicate, and how we make meaning. It was cool to see myself step away from defensiveness/dismissiveness and to instead see us get curious around understanding each other.

• I solo-traveled in a way that stayed true to myself, doing what I wanted to do vs. what a tourist is "supposed to do".

• After spending one week exploring Chengdu without my parents, I’m no longer scared of navigating China on my own! And I’m no longer embarrassed to get around with my elementary school leveled Chinese.

• I feel a much deeper sense of appreciation for my family and my Chinese identity — even though they’re anything but perfect.

What I’m really noticing is that my work to level up as a coach has increased my ability to sit with discomfort, contradiction, and ambiguity — and that is significantly improving my relationships. Which is so so so cool.

recs

• 👩🏻‍🏫 Nervous System Mastery: This 5-week course teaches you how to better regulate your nervous system so that you can live a more fulfilling life. It’s the first time I’ve spent > $1000 on a program (eek!), but they seriously impressed me with the material and course design. Like I actually enjoyed an online course. I’m coming away with words that have helped me grow my awareness of my nervous system, tools that I still use today, and a deep appreciation for the importance of practice. It’s a great intro to somatic/therapy-like work for the non-woowoo types. (if you’re interested in this, lmk, I can get you a coupon code)

• 🎙️ This podcast episode about relationships and fighting: I love how Joe Hudson thinks about and models this — and then shows how much growth can come from conflict.

• 👯‍♀️ Coaching Corner: This thing we started 1.5 years ago has truly take a life of its own. Coming back to it post-vacation has made the sheer support and honesty and energy of the space even more obvious. If you’re a coach looking for a community to buoy you through your journey, come join us — we’re also having a meetup in SF next week!

• ☕️ Kurasu Ebisugawa: Okay y’all somehow I’ve gotten really snobby about coffee which is making cafe hopping rather difficult… Anyways I present to you my favorite coffee shop of my Japan trip. The aeropress latte is just incredible.

• 🎬 The Idea of You: I was stuck in Japan with no streaming services except for Amazon Prime (rip Crunchyroll), so I let myself fall into…romcoms. Never did I think I’d be watching a romcom on my own, but y’all, this one was honestly quite good and very cute.

• 🎵 I found this song while in Japan and loved walking down the streets of Kyoto with it. It’s super cutesy and I can’t help but love it.