Maybe the job search and ultimate frisbee tryouts really aren't so different

It's tryout season -- and surprisingly, the job search is giving me lessons in how to show up

The club ultimate frisbee tryout season is officially upon us.

That means that for the next 10 weeks, 15+ teams in the Bay Area will be jockeying for the best players they can get on their roster — holding multiple rounds of tryouts, turning on their charm, and pulling out all the stops to put together their dream team. And players will be spending their foreseeable Saturdays and Sundays shuttling all across the Bay, playing hard, and doing whatever they can to get seen and recognized.

The whole thing is EXHAUSTING. Normally I prefer to opt out of tryouts and build up the team I’m currently on.

But this year, I decided to enter the ring and try out once again.

But as much as I love thinking deeply about mindset, up until last week, I’d done absolutely zero thinking about how to approach tryouts.

Because to me, tryouts were a lost cause. It didn’t matter what I did. Tryouts were political. Inconsistent. And they always left me feeling like I had nothing to offer.

But this past week, I started asking myself … was this really the best way to go about it?

As I sat with it more, I thought of something.

The microcosm of tryouts might not be so different from things I’d worked through in my career.

It actually has a lot of similarities to things like interviewing for a job or pitching an idea to an investor. It’s presenting yourself in a way so you could find the right match.

What if I approached tryouts the way I approached the job search?

(If you’re unfamiliar with the ultimate frisbee world and why tryouts are such a big deal, check out this footnote¹ )

How I used to approach tryouts

There are three main ways I approached tryouts in the past.

1) I’m just here to have fun!

I adopted this mindset when 1) the team was out of my range or 2) I knew I wasn’t actually trying to play on that team. There’s nothing to fear because I wasn’t really there to try out…or so I told myself.

2) I have no expectations

Let’s be real. I can’t control the outcome, so I might as well just go play some ultimate and see where the cards land. It was better to be modest and expect nothing. But deep down, it’s not that I didn’t have expectations. It’s that I was afraid to have any.

3) Eh..I don’t really care

I’ve had all sorts of reasons not to care. The team was just a “safety” option. My friend convinced me to come with them. I was so over the tryout process. If I didn’t care, things could be low stakes.

—

The thing was, these mindsets never really worked. 9 times out of 10, they were just a cover up. Because deep down, how I actually felt was…

4) I need to make this team so I can prove that I’m a good player.

I actually cared a lot about tryouts. I was desperate to make certain teams because I wanted to validate my worth.

The thing is, this approach doesn’t work.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s my career or frisbee. With this approach, I tense up. I talk less. My overthinking goes into hyperdrive. I consciously hold myself back because I am afraid to mess up. And as a result, I lose all ability to show who I truly am and go after what I actually want.

Using a reframe: How I’m approaching tryouts instead

In a job search, I’ve found that the most important differentiator is not just your technical skillset — it’s that combined with your energy. If you show up feeling unsure of what you bring or what you want, you will naturally come off as insecure and less desirable. But if you know what you bring, believe in your value, and stand by what you’re looking for, you will stand out.

So how do we bring that grounded, charismatic energy to tryouts? Here’s what I’m planning to try:

1) Take time to recognize ALL of my strengths

Here’s an exercise for you: make a list of 50 things that make you great.

The first time I did this for my job search, I could not fathom how I could get to 50. But it ended up being really powerful because to get to that number, you really can’t disregard anything.

For ultimate frisbee, that means you can’t discount your technical skills (i.e. speed, agility, throwing precision) just because there are people out there that are better than you.

It means that you have to acknowledge the value you bring in other non-technical dimensions, like your ability to lift your teammates up, your mental resilience, or your receptiveness to feedback.

And if you run out of ideas, it means you have to ask your teammates :P

let’s give this strengths exercise a try!

From there, you can narrow it down to your top 5 strengths — and then really look at it. That’s what you bring.

If you’re like me and are struggling to fully believe your answers, I dare you to again ask your teammates directly: what do you think is the biggest strength that I bring?Sometimes that outside perspective is all you need to more fully see and believe in what you have to offer.

2) Gracefully accept my weaknesses (because self-awareness is powerful!)

Sometimes we feel like we have to mask our weaknesses in order to be chosen. Other times, we feel so insecure that it feels like we have weaknesses everywhere and nothing to offer.

One of the best ways to move past this? Ask a teammate to give their honest answer to this question: “What do you think is the biggest thing that is likely to prevent me from making a team?”

Putting yourself out there like that will feel scary, but hearing your teammates’ honest answers will also feel incredibly relieving because with their answers, there are no more unknown secret weaknesses to fear.

Once you know what your greatest weaknesses are, you can look them straight in the eye and start getting curious about them. Where did they come from? How have they served me? How might I address them? Do I want to address them?

gracefully tending to all the weakest seedlings

Everyone has weaknesses. Acknowledging and accepting yours will help you feel more grounded in who you are and what you have to offer. And with this degree of self-awareness and acceptance, you’ll find that people can truly feel the difference.

3) Know what I am looking for from a team

At first, it feels a bit counterintuitive. Why should I spend so much time figuring out what I want from a team if they might cut me first?

But the thing is, you knowing what you want actually helps both you AND the teams find the best match in the long run.

So what do you want? A tight-knit community? Even playing time? To be a big role player on the team?

a few of the things I am looking for :)

Once you know what you want, it makes it so much easier to show up to the tryout process. None of it feels performative because none of it IS performative. You will want to get to know the current team members to learn more. You will want to ask the leadership team questions about the season. And you’ll both come out of the process with a much clearer understanding of if you’re right for each other.

Conclusion

Just like in the job search, every frisbee team is looking for different things: the number of new members, the on-field roles, the level of play. The same team can have different needs year over year as conditions change. There is no standard metric of success or value.

So how can it possibly make sense for my value to come from the teams I make?

In such an ambiguous environment, there are only three big things that I can control: 1) I can recognize that I. have. value. 2) I can own my weaknesses and how I want to work through them and 3) I can really know what it is I want.

When I imagine tryouts from this place, things feel different.

I stop being so afraid.

I can tell a team that they’re my first choice — even if I don’t end up making it. I can go all out and give a tryout everything I got — even if I fail.

Because in my heart, I’ll know where I stand. And when I do, I think the outside eye will not be able to help but notice.

1. Tryouts for ultimate frisbee? But isn’t that a super chill sport people play for fun?

For people like me that play ultimate competitively, it is anything but chill. You’d think the sport would get less intense post-college (it’s not like we’re getting paid to do this!), but it actually gets much more competitive.

The goal? To make it to club nationals. But each year, only 16 teams across the US can qualify. For all of California and Arizona (the southwest division), that typically means only 2 teams can make it.

So from May to October, you’ll see your ultimate friends disappear from your social circles as they lose themselves in training, flying to high-level tournaments, and giving it their all in hopes that their team can break seed, or even better, earn a spot to nationals.

And that whole process begins with tryouts.